In the history of humanity, the standard at which many of us live is bordering on obscene. We have reason to be grateful all the time, even in the face of a pandemic. Enough, maybe: the owl in the tree, her sleeping face in the morning, the red tip of her yellow beak. Enough, bitter green tea in the perfect blue cup. Time passes. Reality of the absence, indication that the presence mattered.
There is no conjuring will summon it again. Enough, the January lettuce sprouting in the cellar, under the lights. Once in a dream, a baby told me it needed to be changed, but I looked for food, never asking its hunger.
Once Augustine wrote of the god-shaped missing piece, the restlessness. They tell me it is enough for me to open the door. Enough, then, dough rising in the bowl, scent of soup on the stove. Enough, the love webbing like wild vines from each beginning of time. What an interesting question… and in this time of stress… fear abounds, leading some to question their existence and to face issues of mortality… This in turn can lay bare the Hungry Ghost… Enough, is NEVER Enough!!!
We see this where people go to big box stores, supermarkets and buy and horde staples, thus putting others at risk by not having enough… This is action based on fear of perishing, that enough is never enough… Acknowledge the Hungry Ghost, Invite it in for tea….
When did I wear it last? Very rarely does the item go in the cart. I realize that is subjective. But I do, like Kevin, try to remember to ask myself before purchasing anything — Do I really need this?
That helps me stay honest with myself, and keeps me from feeling guilty later. This site is brought to you by A Network for Grateful Living, a c 3 nonprofit. Maybe you need to be more patient, maybe you need to learn new skills, maybe you need to set boundaries. Either one of these things must happen or both. This is my opinion. Everyone is different and you have to do what is best for you.
If you want to explore other ways to move on when enough is enough or perhaps are just tired of getting taken advantage of, check out our article: Getting Used — 5 Things To Do About It.
We all have emotional stress sometimes. We might have a bad day at work, or have a disagreement with our spouse that may elevate our stress and sour our mood. When this is constant, however, it may be time to say enough is enough. We are not meant to live in a state of stress , fear, depression, and hopelessness.
It not only takes a toll on our happiness but our health as well. People who deal with elevated states of emotion consistently suffer from more health issues. These include muscle fatigue, irritability, constant tiredness, headaches, and more. It is not healthy for you both in mind and body to keep dealing with your emotions so much that it drains you every day.
If you are emotionally drained more often than not, that is when you know enough is enough. I hear countless complaints from my clients and others who say they do not know who they are anymore or no longer feel like themselves. They give so much of themselves that they lose touch with who they are. Oftentimes they hate who they have become because they have become bitter and resentful and it affects their relationships with co-workers, family, and others.
Are you a different person in a negative way since you started your job or got into your relationship? Do you do and say things that you never used to?
But she loves someone else. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Currently you have JavaScript disabled. In order to post comments, please make sure JavaScript and Cookies are enabled, and reload the page. Click here for instructions on how to enable JavaScript in your browser. Previous Next. Are you being honest with yourself about who you really are and who you want to be?
Are you respecting your feelings? Are you making yourself a priority and incorporating practices that quiet your mind and strengthen your spirit? Or are you looking for constant distractions that keep you from listening to the deeper part of you who is always calling you forward?
Always remember…be true to yourself! By Catherine Dietz T March 18th, change , empowerment , encouragement , enough is enough , excercise , honesty , integrity , internal conflict , love , love yourself , positive change , power , reducing conflict , relationship challenge , relationship coaching , relationship goals , relationship improvements , relationship problems , respect , romantic relationships , should I stay or should I go? Related Posts. Clifford Bench March 27, at pm - Reply.
Catherine Dietz March 30, at pm - Reply. We both lived at home still. Both families catholic. It was hard to get alone time. But we made it work. My parents love him. And his family loves me. We have cultural differences. I am a mutt and my husband is chaldean iraqi christian. So all the different traditions his family has, i fell in love with as well. In the culture though you do not leave the house unless your married.
Well we were in love so it made sense. We started looking for a house. Put a offer in and he proposed. I was happy. I thought we will move in and be able to be free to do what we want for each other. So we moved in and made a life. Planned the wedding which his family pressed to be ad soon as possible since we weren't married just engaged. The culture is very by the book catholic.
While living together i thought pur intimacy would rise. Having alone time. It did somewhat. But not to what i think a new couple should.
But i loved him so that wasnt everything to me. First year we got used to living with someone else. All the things you work out like whose responsibility for each chore is what etc etc. Got married and things were great. On our honeymoon we did not have sex. Which is noy a big deal. Your on vacation and you get tired. But i always feel like i could never open up to him in that way. But things were good. We were the couple that everyone around us that said your so lucky We respected each other and things were good.
Soon things started to subside in the bedroom even more. My husband gets irritable when things arent perfect. Which may be from his family because everyone on his side has major OCD tendencies of cleanliness. Soon i felt nothing i did was good enough.
Criticism was a normal thing. For everyday life. I didnt make enouhh money to save for us. I didnt clean enough. I didnt cook enough. I am a optimistic person usually and it never brought me down until a year and a half ago.
I wasnt aware before but my husband suffers from depression. And he was in the thick of it. I always listened and was supportive. He drank everyday almost. I suggested cutting down or things to help him. He hates his job so i helped him find new ones. He needed to stay at his job becausr it profided insurance for us. Which made me feel guilty. The feeling of guilt is always with me now.
He was always waking up sick and came home from work and zoned out while watching tv or playing on his phone. He gas great hobbies that he does as well. Ge started taking antidepressants. But he still drank frequently. He was unhappy and so was i. Intimacy was never there and i felt like i was very generous when it came to that and him selfish. So it turns me off. Ive noticed how much irritation he has towards his mother always.
And fekt like he started treating me that way. I started feeling disconnected. This grew for a year. I just hated the negativity he gave off. He told ne he always had depression is just didnt show when we dated And wanted to start a business.
Which is supported. I do hair and started looking for a shop to open up. I found a single studio which i moved to and business has been great. He was happy for me. But also jealous.
As he would make comments i wish i had that etc. I work a little more but i am able to save money now so he should be happy! Always trying to make him happy. My 30th birthday cane around and i was having a party. This was the straw i believe. For his 30th i planned a big surprise party and he was happy with that. Mine seemed like a burden.
Which everything always seemed like. The day came and he was irritable as ever. Layed in bed all day. Came out periodically to check on things. He was miserable. The thought of people coming and getting the house dirty. When people came he was fine and put on a happy face. After that Which is my current situation.
The negativity, the criticism, never being good enough, the lack of intimacy. Tore me down. He attempted to be intimate one day and i couldnt get into it. He then realized something was wrong.
And he started to get emotional. I think he knew i was unhappy at this point. I felt guilty. He then tryed to be nicer and started to dig on the the problems were. He started seeing a therapist and changing his ways. Something inside him sparked. But i felt cold to all the changes. I thought it will not stay he has done this before. It will gp back to how it was soon enough.
Within a month he started working out, seeing a therapist, dieting, and trying hard to be nice. One night recently while all these changes are happening he told me he has something to tell me. He told me he has a porn addiction and that he thinks it coming in between us.
He got emotional. And i stayed strong. Which is usually how it goes. I felt bad since he had exposed a deep secret to me. And he said he is trying not to dp that because he wants to fix things between us. About 2 weeks later. He was going out with friends. Which i was happy he was getting out socializing with his buddies. He came home drunk. He tryed to cuddle me.
And i said i have to work in the morning. But he smelled of whiskey and was kind of rough because of the alcohol. He flipped out. Ive seen him do this 2 other occasions while drinking with friends and they got mad at each other. But he went into a fit of rage.
Blind rage. Screaming that im a monster and loudly grunting and screaming thoughout the house. Theres no way to describe the fear i had. I knew he could overpower me. I left. I was frightened he woyld come after me so i booked it.
I could not get to my keys so i was running. I called mom and told ger ehat was happening. She was scared too. I ended up calling as i was worries for his and my safety. He also has exposed to me he has suicidal thoughts so everything was unpredictable. I stayed at my parents for a couple days after the incident. And since then i have been back home just walking on eggshells per usual.
I am unhappy. I can't get over what happened. And dont know if i should live my life with a man im so unsure about. Everyday its something different. Hes trying to be super nice to win me back. Or irritable becauae its not working fast enough for him.
I feel like there's a rush for me decide if i want a divorce put on by him. He says he loves me and will do anything to make this work My wall is rock hard and i cant get back to "normal". Im so lost.
Any advice? Thanks for reaching out to us at HealthyPlace, I'm so sorry for everything you're struggling with. Have you considered couples therapy? I think if you're still not convinced you should stay or leave, that couples therapy may help you.
The lack of intimacy, his issues with the home, and everything else you're experiencing has to be addressed for any improvements to happen and sometimes a couple's therapist can really help you to express your thoughts and feelings on these issues.
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